Milestones: The Work of His Hands

This week marks ten years that Dane and I have been yielded to God's will for our lives and truly having Him as Lord. Our "conversion" began following the tragic death of Dane's niece. To watch the incredible, gut wrenching suffering that his sister went through is something we will never forget. It left us knowing that there had to be more than just this life. For me it was the feeling that her death couldn't be in vain, and for Dane it triggered the intense love for his children and the desire to never be separated from them. Having grown up in church and chosen to follow flesh and live in disobedience, there had been times where I would choose Christ, then walk away. I think of the parable of the sower, and can see the different soil conditions within my own heart through my late teens/early twenties. My biggest fear ten years ago was that I would walk away again and I didn't want to do that.

There have been many... MANY struggles over the past ten years. But God has proved faithful through them all. That doesn't mean we've been rescued, or removed from the trials, but He has held us through each one. Dane and I were talking a few weeks ago what it would be like if we hadn't given our lives to Christ. It was on the eve of our anniversary and my thought was that we probably would be divorced; Dane, once again going back to the thoughts of our children, wondered how their lives would be different. Oh, what a thought... what a horrible thing to imagine. I am so overwhelmed by the thought that our children our God's first. That He will look after them, that if we forsake them, He will take them up. Oh, the comfort of knowing that despite how I may blow it, they know who God is, and turn to Him for their example.

This whole post has been brought on by my reading this morning. Each day I read a Psalm (or two or three), and the Proverb that lines up with the date. For example, today is the 20th, so I read Proverbs 20. Proverbs 20:7 made me smile again today, and I realized it's because my thought immediately goes to my husband:

The righteous man walks in his integrity, His children are blessed after him.

The footnote in my bible reads:

The children of the righteous are blessed. These children see in righteous and blameless parents the model of integrity in their home.  They are encouraged by this godly example of parents who live out their faith, ad they are challenged to become wise themselves. 

I was both challenged and encouraged by the statement. I am so far off  from being viewed as righteous and blameless in my children's eyes. They see me everyday. They see my failures, they see my shortcomings... they see my sin. Hopefully though, they see Christ in me. I want to be that example, I want them to look back and to know that their mother loved the Lord with all her heart. I am reminded that we need to show that to our kids. They need to see us praying, they need to see us in the Word... they need to see us serving daily.

A few days ago Max was sitting looking at Dane's bible and he said something that made me chuckle. He said, "it's like Dad lives off of the Bible. He's always reading it." It's the absolute truth... anytime Dane sits down or has a empty moment, he has his Bible open. I have always been so challenged by the absolute craving for God's word that my husband has. It has always shocked me in a sense too, as Dane isn't someone who is always cracking open a book. I think about the change that has demonstrated to me in the past 10 years, the knowledge, the faith, the ability to lead. I think about the challenge to me it has shown. Quite frankly, up until the past year, my heart has never craved God's word. I read it, I turned to it for truth, wisdom and encouragement, but I didn't crave it. I didn't thirst for it. I always wanted the intensity that Dane had. I am amazed at the work that God has done in my husband's life.

Dane always used to comment that his testimony was nothing incredible, in fact he'd always say he didn't have a good one like me....errrr, thanks... but I think Dane's testimony has been in his life. Ten years ago, he hated crowds, he was so nervous to speak to new people. When trials hit, he panicked. I have watched my husband become completely comfortable in a group of hundreds, I watch him strike up conversations all the time with people he doesn't know. I have watched him handle with incredible strength and composure the death of both of his parents. I have watched him proclaim boldly that Jesus IS the only way. No, this isn't the man I married... he is however exactly the man God had for me and my children. I am so in awe of him, and more importantly of the God who has transformed his life, my life, OUR life.

I entitled this blog OVERWHELMED, and it is so fitting for my life. I am overwhelmed by God's incredible grace, this is not the life I was headed for years ago. This is the work of His hands. He has built the house, He has labored, He has overwhelmed me with His love, grace, and mercy. If you happen to be reading this, and don't know Him, let me know, I'd love to share with you and pray with you. He is too big to miss.